Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
