Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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