Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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