apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
It was like getting head from an anaconda
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
