Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
