I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
