She's JV to your varsity
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize