You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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