A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
