Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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