New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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