I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize