So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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