why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Pants are for mortals
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
