I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
