Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
