So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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