I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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