We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Randomize
