He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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