i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
