Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
