I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
