I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
