i wish there were pregnant emoticons
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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