Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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