Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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