So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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