I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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