TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
operation have a gay friend backfired
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
