Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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