Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
