pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
