just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
