This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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