What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
