I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
it hurts more in the daytime
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Randomize
