I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Mom said you looked used
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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