he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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