"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
