And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
