I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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