first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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