Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
