Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Randomize
