I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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