Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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