Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
