Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
