Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
