Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
