the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
