My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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