i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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