btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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