S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
