I think I won the penis lottery.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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