haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
she woke up with a sticky ear
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
